This week has been killer. I am talking about just chaos within black holes of chaos. Keeping motivated that the light would guide me to the end was so distant. Thank goodness that it is Friday! Meaning crafting all weekend!

Recently, it has been really hitting me that I am starting to go nuts. I am not saying that I had a bad day, more like mentally I have been loosing it and almost like an out of body experience has happened, overtime I had an episode I knew what was happening but I couldn’t stop myself. My poor Lindy, I am so thankful and grateful to him. He has been such a trooper and so wonderful when I had an episode.

I have put into action a sort of plan, I have contacted a psychologist and once I meet with her I will ask if I should get a psychiatrist because this isn’t normal. I can barely handle day to day things that any normal person should. My moods are out of control for no reason.

Although this post is a little dark, please don’t feel bad. I am actually posting this because I want everyone of you to understand that people are people but everything is dealt differently per the person. “It is really hard to say that I work all the time I don’t understand why you are complaining”. Because they are right these things are normal things that we do to survive. But for some reason it doesn’t feel right for me. My mind makes me feel crazy sometimes. But I am pretty sure I will learn methods to calm myself and create a situation for my life where things can be manageable.

Do you ever feel hopeless? I am not asking to be rude, but if you do you should totally talk to someone or to a professional. It really helps and me being as stubborn as I am haven’t gone in years and that time is biting my ass now.

Most people hate asking for help, and to be honest I do to. But I am starting to understand that there are times and places to ask and not. Just like being an adult for everything. I am practicing and trying to better myself as much as I can to be a better human for my fiancé. I don’t want to disappoint him. But I don’t want to hold him back either.

Just between me and you. If you ever need someone to listen you are more than welcome to message me. Probably the best place would be on Instagram which you can find in my side bar. That way I might not even find out what your name is unless you wish me to know. I have always had a big heart and wanting to help others. But at the same time I need help too. But I have noticed that I feel a lot better when I know I did some good in the world even though one individual.

Just know someone cares…


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